A sign some of us have been dispatching too long:-
You answer your home phone "9-1-1, what is your emergency?" (especially when asleep)
You see nothing wrong with eating a Taco Bell Grande Meal or pizza at 3 a.m.
You have forgotten what it is like to actually eat a warm meal.
You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac and/or birth control over certain parts of your city.
You have no idea what a holiday is, other than it's the day when everyone gets drunk and beats up their family members.
You can carry on more than 4 conversations simultaneously. G take note..I am listening
You have the bladder capacity of a tanker truck or of a small third world army.
You can resume a conversation with coworkers 4 hours later, in mid-sentence and everyone knows what you are talking about.
You have a long term telephonic relationship with one or more paranoid schizophrenic PTSD suffering relatives of a public official.
You inform your teenager," I will always know".
You get impatient listening to people relate a story - You want "just the facts".
You believe 90% of people can't look up a telephone number.
You get easily bored with happy, content people.
You have perfected the phrase "I pay taxes, too".
You can talk on the phone, listen to the radio and type request into the computer at the same time without missing anything.
You can give directions to any location in your city off the top of your head.
You can relate a 10 minute story over a 2 hour time period, after many interruptions, without losing your place.
You refuse to allow anyone to say "have a quiet shift".
You believe that the statement, "It sure is quiet!" will bring down the wrath of god upon you.
You can give anyone the exact address of every bar in your jurisdiction.
You spell everything phonetically.
You can only tell time on a 24 hour clock.
You have spent time explaning to officers, firefighters or EMTs the difference between a dispatcher and a personal assistant.
You live in fear of a full moon.
You are on a first name basis with every crazy lunatic in your jurisdiction and know what medication they are on.
You find no comfort in knowing that the equipment that you depend on to do your job and protect others was purchased at the lowest bid possible.
You respond faster to the name "RADIO" or "DISPATCH" than you do to your own name.
You have a tendency to giggle at your friends "big" problems.
You tell cops where to go without fear.
I can say to the guys, "you need to go here for that" and they know what I'm talking about.